How do I say I don't want my sister in law as my realtor?

Transparency is key. You can either use her and have her shadow the more experienced realtor and they split the commission or use someone else entirely. Best of luck!

Direct and early is the kindest version. A quick, honest conversation before you sign anything saves the relationship. "We love you, and we have decided to work with someone outside the family so we can keep business and family separate" is a complete sentence. I see this come up often in Hernando County, where a lot of my clients are tied into tight extended families across the Nature Coast. The deals that blow up worst are not the ones where someone says no upfront, they are the ones where a buyer signs with family out of guilt and then wants to fire them at inspection. What I would do: tell her before you interview anyone else, and blame the process, not her. Say you are planning to interview three agents, including her if she wants, and you will make the decision on fit and experience. Most family members respect that framework. The ones who do not would have been the problem anyway. A good agent will understand. A great family member will too. -- Kevin Neely & Kaitlynd Robbins | K2 Sells

This is tricky, but family and business rarely mix well, especially when there's this much money on the line. Your house is probably your biggest asset. Using someone brand new is a huge risk. She doesn't have the experience to price it right or negotiate multiple offers. A bad listing can cost you tens of thousands. Here's what I'd do. Frame it around your needs, not her lack of experience: "We really appreciate you thinking of us. But we've already been talking to someone who specializes in our neighborhood and has tons of comps for our exact area." Or: "We're in a tight spot financially and need every dollar we can get. I'd feel terrible putting that pressure on you when you're just starting out." You could let her help stage or assist your actual agent if you want to keep the peace. Whatever you do, don't cave to avoid awkwardness. I've watched people lose serious money using a friend or relative who wasn't ready. One uncomfortable conversation beats a lowball offer any day.

Hi Liz Honesty is always the best policy. With a decision as big as selling your home you want to make sure you have a seasoned professional help you through the process. Maybe invite her to join in the process so she can learn and grow from the experience.

Unfortunately, it will be awkward no matter which direction you take. However, there is a good way to work through this issue and still save face with everyone around you. Hire a qualified Real Estate agent to sell your house but let that person know you have a close relative that you did not hire and that person is looking for a referral fee as part of the sale. I'm confident the agent you hire will be willing to pay a 25% referral to your SIL in order to secure the listing though it's possible that agent might want the higher side of fees typical for your area. Your SIL makes some income on the sale and can monitor how a great local Real Estate agent works to get your home sold. It's a win for everyone and I've done this several times myself when I'm hired to list a home but need to keep a family member happy along the way.

Liz, here’s exactly how I’d have you communicate this to your sister‑in‑law. You’re going to keep it warm, clear, and firm: “I want you to know I’m really proud of you for getting your license, and I honestly think you’re going to do well in real estate. For this house, though, we have decided we don’t want to mix family and business because it’s a big financial decision for us, and we really want to keep family stuff completely separate from anything that could get stressful. This isn’t about you personally or you being too new; it’s just a boundary we’ve set to protect the relationship and keep things easy at holidays and family dinners. I hope you can understand and support that. We’ll absolutely cheer you on and send people your way when friends or coworkers need an agent, but on this sale our decision is made and we’re going to stick with it.” If your sister-in-law seems hurt or pushes back, you can coach Liz to simply repeat, calmly: “I totally get that you’re disappointed, and that makes sense. At the same time, this is our home and our decision, and we’re not going to change our mind about keeping family and business separate.” Liz, I truly hope this helps. Remember this is a big decision and should not be taken lightly.

Family and business rarely mix well (unless in the case of a family business). Have a clear conversation with her about it. Explain that you want to hire experience that she clearly lacks. Bring up the reality of the hypothetical “what if I have to fire you?” You can, however, offer to have her co-list your house with a highly experienced agent. That would potentially be a great learning experience for her. You’d honestly be doing her a favor. This is tough to answer because newer agents really need to join teams or a mentorship/partnership with an experIenced agent. Perhaps that’s what she’s doing. If so, interview her and her mentor/team lead. See if they’re a good fit. Be clear that you will be interviewing other agents as well. The hardest thing to learn for a newer agent is that there is no “automatic” business. Family and friends should not be expected to work with you simply because of the existing relationship. The existing relationship cannot be allowed to get in the way. It’s a slippery slope and, I’m not gonna lie, it hurts bad when you don’t land business that you thought you should get. You don’t owe anybody anything, though. You can handle this how you see fit. It’s your house and your home sale. You call the shots. I just recommend having the conversation for the sake of all that you mentioned in your question.

You could always ask your sister-in-law to refer a qualified agent with experience and she will still receive a referral fee

This can be tricky. While it may feel awkward sitting at a dinner after listing with another agent, think of how awkward it would be if she were unable to sell the home, and it sat on the market too long, thereby affecting its perceived value to buyers. Worse yet, how awkward it would be if you later had to fire her. Listing with the wrong agent can cost you thousands. I'd recommend a nice gift to express how much you appreciate her, then break the news that you want to keep the important task of selling the house separate from family. If she doesn't understand, she's only thinking about a potential commission check rather than a potential mess at the next family gathering.

Allow her to interview for the role. If you select a more qualified agent for this significant transaction, explain how she can be successful in the future by gaining experience through shadowing or other learning opportunities. Alternatively, inquire with experienced agents in her office about co-listing to provide her with learning opportunities while contributing a small percentage of the total service fee. It's essential for her to understand that having prior relationships doesn't guarantee a job; most clients prioritize experience. In real estate, you just do not know what you do not know until it is usually too late or at a cost.

This is heavily dependent on your relationship and family dynamic. Selling your home is one of, if not the biggest financial decision you'll make in your lifetime. You wouldn't volunteer to be a friend's first root canal because they just graduated from dentistry school last month. Similarly, you wouldn't want a to be a lawyer's first court defense, even if they were your friend. Negotiating your home sale is no different. This is a tough one and if not handled firmly, and directly, it can hurt feelings and relationships. Setting expectations is the most important part of this situation. Option 1: If you just want to "help them out" there's always an option for your sister-in-law to give a referral to another realtor in your area that you choose. This way you still get the realtor you want and you're not stuck with a situation that could really turn sour should a deal fall apart with your SIL. If you go this route, make sure you let the agents you are interviewing know that you're requiring a referral fee of 10%, 15%, 25% etc to your sister in law. Option 2: Let them know that you plan to interview several agents with at least "X" years in the business and "X" sales under their belt. This will set the expectation up front that it's not a charity case, it's a job you're interviewing professional for.

Explain to her that as much as you’d like to be able to support her you generally don’t mix business with family.

You could say something like: I'm really proud of you for getting your license, that's a huge accomplishment. For this sale, we've decided to work with an agent who has more experience in the market, ensuring we position the home correctly and maximize our results. After the conversation I would give her a hug and support her in any other way to help grow her real estate business.

Hello! This is always a tricky situation. I am glad to hear you asking :) First, it’ is so completely reasonable to want experience on your side when selling your home. That’s a big financial decision, and it’s okay to prioritize that. At the same time, it makes sense wanting to use your sister-in-law and avoid any awkwardness. It sounds like it is not that you don't want to support your sister-in-law, but rather just want to make sure you are hiring experience, so you get the best representation possible. One option could be to bring both together. If your sister-in-law is working within a brokerage, you might ask if there’s a more seasoned agent she could partner with. You could say something like: “I really want to support you, and I’m so excited for you. At the same time, since this is such a big sale for us, I’d feel more comfortable having someone with more experience involved. Would you be open to partnering with a more seasoned agent in your office so we can have both?” That way, she’s included, gaining experience, and you have the added confidence of a seasoned professional. Another option—if you decide you’d prefer to work with a different agent—is to still support her through a referral. Many agents refer business to one another and are able to receive a referral fee (often 25–30%), which allows you to support her while working with someone you feel most comfortable with. While it is hard to talk about these types of situations with people, because we aren't here to hurt feelings, Honesty is your best path. I do see this as a wonderful opportunity for you to support someone starting a new career, and at the same time take care of your concerns and needs throughout the sale. Also, you would have a team, which is wonderful in the process, too. It’s a tough and very thoughtful question, and the fact that you’re considering both the relationship and the outcome says a lot! With more exploration, I think you could have it! :)

You could always suggest since she is new that she partner with someone from the office to assist in selling your home. Have a consultation and set expectations very clear.